You may have noticed that many of my recent posts have been nostalgic reflections on the things I miss about when my children were smaller, but time is notorious for tinting the past with rosiness and whitewashing out the things that were not so enjoyable. So this week, I thought I would turn my attention to the things I actually WILL NOT MISS about having small children:
I feel this one needs little explanation. Seriously, who in their right mind enjoys wiping poo from a wriggling baby (let alone a much larger, much wrigglier toddler!)? Enough said!
2) Having to strap toddlers into car seats
Nothing (well maybe some things, but certainly not many) can be as frustrating as trying to strap a small, uncooperative and surprisingly strong little person into a seat they have no wish to be in and will fight to the death to escape. Many a time I found myself sinking into the driver’s seat in exhaustion, drenched in sweat and bruised from battle as I listened to the piercing shrieks of a safely strapped, but seriously unhappy toddler. When this was accompanied by the hungry bawls of a small baby too, then I knew it was going to be a long drive home. Sigh….
3) Cleaning the high chair table….and its legs………and the back (which surely never even sees the food?) ……and each and every joint in an object that appears to have far more than its fair share of joints!
Who makes these things? And why does the difficulty to clean level of objects appear to rise directly in line with the number of times it needs cleaning? I mean is there no-one looking out for those of us who fail miserably at any type of cleaning-related task?!
4) Learning to read:
Given that I have a deep love of reading, you would think that I would relish the chance to introduce my children to this wonderful world and watch them take their first tentative steps towards independent reading. I thought so too.
I adored the pre-school years when my children and I shared magical moments with a whole host of gorgeously illustrated, beautifully written, (and generally tear-inducing) stories and some of my favourite memories are of reading TO my children and seeing their love of story-telling grow. BUT (and clearly there is a BUT or there would be no post!) when we graduated from shared reading as fun, family time, to big school ‘learning to read’, things rapidly went downhill. I very quickly learnt that, as far as word recognition goes, early readers appear to have the memory of a goldfish!
I get it, honestly I do, reading is an incredibly hard skill to master and English is the most ridiculous language imaginable, but despite all my good intentions to be patient and supportive, after 5 agonising minutes (yes, it seems short, but trust me, it’s longer than you think) listening to a 5 year old attempting to sound out the word ‘she’, it is beyond frustrating when they turn the page to be faced with EXACTLY THE SAME WORD which appears – in spite of the huge efforts only minutes before – to have completely vanished from said 5 year old’s memory leaving them to begin ALL OVER AGAIN in their attempts to sound it out! ARGH! And breathe….
So there you have it, some (but definitely not all) of the things I will not miss about having small children. The things listed above will never (I am willing to bet) make it to a nostalgic blog post where I wax lyrical about how much I miss those nappy-filled days. There are some things about parenthood that are most definitely best left in the past!
Do you have anything you would add to this list? I am all set to compile list mark 2 so have your say in the comments below.